07 Aug THE ART OF COMMUNICATION

 “If you are trying to persuade people to do something or buy something, it seems to me you should use the language they use every day” David Ogilvy

A fourteen-year-old boy saw his messenger job at Western Union as one thing – an opportunity to move up. He had a concrete plan too: Do more than was expected, so he’d get noticed by his bosses. He started by memorizing names, addresses and faces of people to whom he made deliveries. Soon he recognized many of them on the street and cut delivery time. Then he taught himself to operate the telegraph. His plan worked. Shortly thereafter, he was promoted to telegraph operator. He went on to say in latter years as a multimillionaire “The battle of life is already half won by the young man who is brought personally in contact with high officials. Everybody should do something beyond the sphere of his duties – something (that) attracts the attention of those over him”.

Everything you do communicates something, from the look on your face to the pace of your walk, even to the focus of your eyes. You are sending signals that others receive and interpret in divers forms. Attitudes, feelings and preferences can be powerfully transmitted even in the absence of word. No communication is devoid of meaning.

Think for a minute about how you communicate with others, with or without words. Your messages have great impact. In most cases, little is said, but a lot is communicated. In every communication, you are either positive or negative.

Don Dwyer identified 3 major means of effective communication unique to every individual:

(1) Sight – Some people can only relate with what they see. No matter how much you explain things to them they will never get it until you show them how to do it and you will be surprised at the speed with which they would assimilate that information. The Biblical story of Abraham further buttresses this point. God had to take Abraham outside to see the stars, the sand and the landmass as a physical representation of the covenant between them.

(2) Speech – Some people respond only to sound as against other means of communication. Words of encouragement, tone and texture of voice could bring out the best or worst in those that fall into this category. A good manager must learn to understand this type of people in his organization and even customers. A little explanation and off they go only to come back with much better result than expected. They can feel your love, assurance and confidence or otherwise in the instruction you give to them. They also need regular feedback on their performances. I once heard the story of a woman who filed for divorce. During the court session the judge asked her why she filed for divorce. She simply said the last time her husband ever said “I love you” to her was on their wedding night 20 years ago. And that she just couldn’t stick with it anymore living with a husband that does not love her. The Judge turned to the husband asked him why he never told her that he loved her again since their wedding night. The man replied, “Because I have not changed my mind, if I had I would have told her”. The man did not understand the communication mode for his wife. She was simply the type that responds to speech. They need to hear it over and over again.

(3) Touch – These are the type that are kinesics. They need to feel a sense of touch to give their best. They feel you through you a pat on the back, handshake and hug, stroke of the hair. Sometimes a father ruffles the hair of his son when he does something good. A boss can gently apply pressure on the shoulder of his worker to drive home a point to him.  So many people fall into this category that today are well known. Take for example Helen Adams Keller. Helen Keller was a woman from the small farm town of Tuscumbia, Alabama who taught the world to respect people who are blind and deaf. Her mission came from her own life; when she was 1 ¹/₂, she was extremely ill, and she lost both her vision and hearing. It was like entering a different world. A lady called Anne Sullivan was asked to teach her, within just a few days, she taught Helen how to spell words with her hands (called the manual alphabet, which is part of the sign language that deaf people use.) The trouble was, Helen didn’t understand what the words meant—until one morning at the water pump (like an outdoor water fountain) she got a whole new attitude. Anne had Helen hold one hand under the water. Then she spelled “W-A-T-E-R” into Helen’s other hand. It was electric! The feeling turned into a word. Immediately, Helen bent down and tapped the ground; Anne spelled “earth.” Helen’s brain flew; that day, she learned 30 words.

Have you been able to identify the type of communication mode people around you respond to?  If not, I believe you can start now. Deal with them according to their design and you will experience great success. Your clients can feel your fears, concern and confidence in your handshake.

The deepest level of communication is attitude. Your clients will read into you before they buy into you. Good communication will increase workers morale. Before any verbal or non-verbal communication occurs, your attitude sets the stage. Attitude is the mental filtering system that ultimately determines your thoughts and feelings. As your attitudes repeatedly display themselves, a reputation emerges which ultimately defines you to the world and may likely define your organization. To be productive, you need to have a reputation as a positive communicator. People will listen for the positives in everything you say. They let their defenses down because they fully believe you are going to say something positive. Attitude drives communication and behaviour.  Your attitude to work will determine how far you will go up or down the ladder of your organization. Getting promoted does not require genius. It requires continued attention to details, tenacity, understanding effective chiefs and doing more than the next person.

Non-verbal communications can be much more powerful than what you say. Your non-verbals can communicate a deep respect for others, just as they can speak of disrespect. They signal your level of interest, your willingness to be patient, your degree of confidence or your lack of these traits. “What you say is as important as how you say it.” People look for cues to determine if they matter. While you may memorise and speak wonderful words, they will get no further than where your non-verbals will take them. Non-verbals tend to be more closely aligned to your true subconscious thoughts. Your customers and colleagues believe your cues far more readily than your consciously monitored words.

When Linda Sanford was assigned to IBM’s mainframe business in 1992. She decided to take drastic steps to save the almost dead section. What she did was to first make sure that workers have positive attitude. So she strolled up and down workers’ cubicles in the company offices within and outside the U.S. She knocked on customers’ doors. From time to time stops to see what workers were doing and talk about their ideas, their concerns, why they think the unit is not successful right now and how they can save the unit. After her fact-finding mission, she started regular “town hall” meeting. Those sessions were a chance for Sanford to discuss what she’d learned from her walks. This calmed their worry, so they could focus on improvement. During her 3-year term – 1995 to 1997 – growth rocketed to 45%. That is the power of good communication. She left her white collar and move into the actual work place to relate with her team. They developed kinship with her, which brought great success.

People weigh carefully what you say and what you believe. Spoken words represent a form of commitment to the thoughts and attitudes that might otherwise remain hidden. While your attitude and non-verbal communication set the stage for your ability to communicate significantly, the words you speak are the finishing touches. They determine much of your success with people. People respond to words that are sincerely spoken. A word fitly spoken edifies and helps you to overcome a lot of hurdles. Choose your words with great care and be mindful what you say.